Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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