I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
