direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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