Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
