Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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