Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
