ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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