Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
