Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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