wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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