This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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