she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
