I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Enjoy the penises
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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