someone get that fucking seahorse.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
