so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm like, not good at living.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
