Are we in a gay sports bar?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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