doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
