i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
