mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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