I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
