P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
