I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
