My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I don't think brook has ever known best
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
