dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize