I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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