Porn is love you can see.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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