She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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