I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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