We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
