oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
