I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
