She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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