So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
