Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
