Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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