dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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