margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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