last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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