It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
