I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
