Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
are you so shy because you have an std?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
