i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
