awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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