question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
