a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
