Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
