I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
