she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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