I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I had to cum in my sink.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
