he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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