pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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