Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
