I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
