I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
