Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
