It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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