I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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