omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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